Dum Dee Dum... I am not a super hero neither am i spiderman. I am going to save the world... like as if you would believe. I am a maniac. I came from an outer space which is filled with water. I learn swimming at the age of zero.I wail like a cry baby. I crawl like spiderman, i fly like superman, i drive like batman. I live in wonderland. Rugrats is my friend, so is peter pan.
Hey pepz. I'm at my grandparents house for an entire week. Pretty boring specially when I forgot my charger for cellphone and laptop at home. I'm on my grandparents main computer right now though. I'll only be using it for a bit since I'm probably going out for lunch in a half hour.
I got twenty bucks from my great-grandma. Random. I know, but it was werid how she did it. She came downstairs, handed me twenty dollars and said it was because she hasn't bought me anything. Then went over to my sister and said the same thing. Making sure that nobody else was downstairs.
It was strange.
In other news I still have an entire TWO WEEKS left of school, not including this week. I am SOOO pissed. They are trying to cram a shit load of shit into two weeks. Including a huge project a field trip and also we have finals and half days. You can sense my exitment. *Sarcasm*
I H.A.T.E my school with a buring passion.
Peace. Love. Death. Circle of Life. D:
xx signed off at 10:32 AM
Friday, June 4, 2010
Lazy
Yo,
Today I have decided to try the speech recognition program, so far it has been incredibly hard. No matter what they say it is extremely difficult to use with a built in microphones. Frustrating as it is an, it’s helpful when you are unable to type at the moment. During today after I got home from hanging out with my friends, I slammed my fingers in my door when coming into my room. So now my fingers are hurting, I feel so stupid.
In other news, I’m not feeling alone anymore. I think it was because my friend got a new boyfriend, and I wasn’t getting as much attention as I did before. That’s just me being selfish though, and thinking that since she’s my best friend that I should get as much attention as she gives him. But that’s not how it works in real world, unfair, no? If he’s around I feel like the third wheel.
But that’s over now. I phoned my boyfriend, and well ex now, and told him that I came out Of The closet so to speak. He was surprised faintly but he said that he wasn’t surprised. I can tell he was though, he has this thing that when he lies his voice gets higher. He didn’t think you can be bi, because you can’t like girls and guys at the same time. Well he’s a liar.
On the downside though, I still haven’t found the perfect song to describe me yet. It’s a pity, my friend’s song is and “My World” by Avril Lavigne which also describes me. But if I find one, I’ll put it up here youtube and all.
So bye,
Peace. L uv. Death. Circle of life. D: and an
xx signed off at 6:33 PM
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Alone
Hello. So alone in my bed Alone listening to nightly whispers Alone in my thoughts Alone standing in court Alone I stand and fight Alone I pray for rainbow lights
Alone in the morning I awake Alone I celebrate my joys Alone I cry out my sadness Alone I voice out my fears Alone in strenght
Alone in wealth Alone in good health Alone I try to understand Alone I seek knowledge Alone I share what is mine Alone I try not to be alone Alone when my time has come, I pass away
Now adays I feel so alone. All my friends now have boyfriends. Each one also preoccupied with something like clubs or their boyfriends or I'm just not good enough friends with them to want to hang out with them.
My bestfriend got a boyfriend yesterday. She is now dating my ex-crush. Me and her related really well together, but since he came into the picture...its as if she is casting me aside whenever he appears, I barely have ANY time alone with her. Everything changed after yesterday to.
I annouced to my friend that I was bi. Which I regret now, they don't include me like they use to. Which makes me sadder, I couldn't only get them to pay attention to me when I told my bestfriend that I've been feeling sad everytime I am alone, so she tried to make me feel better.
They say that they don't think of me differently but I can tell they think that everytime I talk to them, they think I am hitting on them. Which I'm not. I don't like them like that.
Now I'm writing this because I'm to sad to do anything beside listen to sad music and sulk. If you can't tell, I extremely dislike being lonely. I try to emerse myself into conversations with my friends. If I'm alone I start to think more and more about how alone I am and how my friends have slowly started to leave me alone. I can't handle being alone, it makes me so depressed.
I complain about my friends a lot, but for me, their the only ones that I connect to. the ones I feel comfortable enough to gossip and talk to without having to block myself. Just telling them I was bi was a HUGE step of trust I gave them. They broke my trust today, no matter how they thought of it.
Typing this is making me sadder, but I just wanted to rant about my friends again. Also my trust issues, I seem shy once you meet me in real life because I don't trust you.
